From the desk of John Armstrong

"today i had a trifle from tescos for lunch called strawberry chaos dessert which if you are into physics is a theory about unpredictable events - sad to say the trifle was very predictable , when i told an careers advisor at school that i wanted to be a dessert ice cream designer i was scoffed at -cunt"

The Armstrongs blog

If anyone hasn't seen the show yet, make sure you stay on BBC2 after The Apprentice on Wednesday. It's the most compelling, entertaining fly-on-the-wall show I've seen in years....

The weekend (slight return)

Guilty Pleasures was excellent again - I only saw a little bit of Jarvis DJing as he was in one of the smaller rooms and the best music was out on the main dancefloor, but he did wander past me later in the evening. I toyed with the idea of grabbing him and telling him how much I loved Pulp, that they were the biggest factor in me choosing to go to Sheffield and how one of my most treasured posessions is a square cut from his suit, but decided that all the beer/JD pumping round my system meant I was in no fit state to meet one of my heroes. The club itself was a blast, the usual great music and the new venue is huuuuuuge. You can go about 5 storeys up and still see down to the dancefloor. Somehow, it even made the front page of the Guardian today.

Most exciting thing to report from the weekend though is I've finally been to a proper Japanese-style karaoke venue in London. Lucky Voice has boothes, where you can holler and shout to your heart's content with no audience other than a few carefully chosen friends. It's quite expensive (about £10 per hour each) but well worth it. I spent Friday night blasting out some Artics, some Meat Loaf, a bit of Morrissey and the theme from Baywatch. We have to all go along sometime soon.....

The young ones....

Apologies to Rufous and Rob for hijacking something they might have wanted to post, but I thought this deserved a wider audience*. So for the benefit of anyone who hasn't already explored the wonderful extended world of Rufous and found it, here's a pic of Rob and Dave auditioning for Life On Mars:

The Harford Boys

*I'm probably being a bit optimistic calling this blog 'a wider audience', but recently we've had visitors from as far afield as Singapore, India, Germany, Switzerland, California (obviously), Canada and, errrr, Stoke.

'What I did this half-term'

Geneva is a lovely place, great for strolling - very relaxed, full of fresh air, nice people and beautiful views of either the clear blue lake or the mountains or both. Just the right size for a weekend too - you can spend three or four days chilling and still feel like you've seen everything. The clubs charge banker's prices and play a bit too much shit R&B (heard 'Gasolina' three times in one place on Friday) but doesn't everywhere nowadays?

On Friday I took the train to Montreux (an hour further up the lake), which scores highly as a DadRock mecca - not only is there the Freddie statue shown below, but it was also the city where Ian Gillan saw a casino on the lakeside burning down (during a Frank Zappa gig) and was inspired to write 'Smoke On The Water'. AND I visited, wearing a Kinks t-shirt - the blue plaque goes up on Wednesday.

I also went up the smallest mountain in the world, bought 5 litres of beer in one glass (below), ate a 'Bigger Big Mac' (20% bigger than standard Macs), and endured a four hour Easyjet delay on the way home which was nowhere near as fun as the ones they show on TV - not a single angry scouser, furious French woman or camply stoical cabin attendant in sight.


More photos at Flickr for anyone who's interested.

Q. How cool is this statue?!

A. So cool that the kids of Montreux haven't even put a traffic cone on his head or a pint glass in his hand.

I Can't Believe We Haven't Altercated Over This Yet

The Brits - what's going on with you all out there? Surely there must have been at least one award winner that pissed you off, or a performance that was jank.

For my part, i was pleased the Arctic Monkeys got their award but not impressed by the "hilarious" jape of getting one of the geezers from We Are Scientists to do the acceptance speak. The Kaisers acted like twats when they got to the podium, but i still think their album is ace, and at least Ricky is a proper frontman. KT Tunstall was very tiny.

Prince was amazing, never realised how much of an axe god he is. His showette has also pushed Purple Rain up to second in my top 5 Prince songs (i feel another post coming here so won't reveal my no 1). Weller could have been a lot better, he just doesn't seem that bothered anymore. Kanye's dancers should have actually danced rather than just swanning about, painted gold. James f**king Blunt is the most whiney wretch to grace the charts...but seems like a nice bloke. Plus in the most complimentary of ways he reminds me facially of Jamie. Think it's the smile and eyes.

Rant over

Spotted on the tube...

The latest in an occasional series by Rob.

On my Tube home this evening, none other than the mighty Ken Livingstone, in my carriage and everything. He even got off at my stop. He had a seat, the sod.

Tube lines/station names withheld for security reasons...

Why I love my job (part 237)

Coldplay at Abbey Road last night was brilliant. As you'd expect from a band that seems to be constantly touring, the performance was amazing, and despite the intimate venue (or maybe because of it, I'm not good on the science of acoustics) the songs sounded just as huge as they do on the albums. They were obviously enjoying themselves too, with loads of random between-song banter from Chris (including a namecheck for Hale and Pace). They even played my favourite and second favourite songs (Clocks and Talk, since you ask) one after the other, thus creating one of the most perfect ten minute periods of my life.....

So in summary, not a bad way to spend a Monday night. I would be even smugger if it weren't for the complete lack of Valentine cards in my letterbox this morning.

How MS Word makes me feel

The results are in!

Thanks to DJs post I can now reveal the Bluebird club's favourite Madonna tracks. As a Jesus substitute i got Michael's choices instead and also included Rufous's choices. The top 6 are...

5= Holiday
5= Open Your Heart
3= Express Yourself
3= Borderline
2 Vogue
1 Like A Prayer

So to honour our (if somewhat predictable but clear) winner and also to tie in with the Winter Olympics see if you can spot jesus below (not ours, but madge's)

Look! Dave's actually posted something!

Right, now that I have a little time to breathe, I have decided to break my posting fast in order to put things straight on the madge front. Clearly, the top five Madonna tracks are:

• Express Yourself (specifically the version on The Immaculate Collection)
• Hung Up
• Deeper And Deeper
• True Blue (why is this not on anyone else's list? True Classic!)
  
• Take A Bow

With the next 5 being:

• Vogue
• Secret
• Bedtime Story
• Live To Tell
• Fever

Help Ma Boab!

Bob's solo gig at the Bush Hall on Monday night just pipped the full-band gig of a few months back, for my money. There was less Sugar material, more of the earlier solo stuff and quite a bit of Hüsker Dü, but it was less physically pummeling and a more laid back affair. Highlights for me were Your Favorite Thing (not previously on my list of best Sugar songs), a sodding amazing version of Egoveride (didn't think that would work without drums. I was very wrong) and the four bars of Foo Fighters' Learn To Fly played archly between a couple of songs that may well have influenced it. Oh, and the between-song anti-Babyshambles banter was fun too!

No more Bob posting for a long while now, I promise. For those bored by the above post, here is an entertaining photo...