Osborne Jr Gets Promoted.

I had my year end review yesterday, it was all very positive (I scored very high in communication despite the Osborne mumble) and they have decided to make me the Office Manager. Same things as I was doing before except now I have slightly more authority and a title and I am expected to sit in on interviews. Now that will be funny. Me: "So tell me mumble mumble mumble...?" Interviewee: "?????" It's going to be good.

We're Mad on her

A total piece of non-news here. A couple of days ago i put The Immaculate Collection into the car cd player, stuck it on shuffle and then it played 4 of my top5 Madonna songs within the first 5 tracks! How spooky is that? Obviously this would be far more impressive had it played all of 5 of my faves in a row but aside from it playing Justify My Love instead of Like A Prayer, i was suitable chuffed.

So to spark up some debate and to find the Bluebird Club's favourite Madge tracks, here's my top5 (in order) to get the ball rolling
1. Vogue
2. Borderline
3. Express
4. Open Your Heart
5. Like A Prayer

The NME Top 100 British Albums

For anyone who can't be bothered buying the paper, the full list is here.

For what it's worth I agree with most of it, and I'm not going to get into the whole debate about Arctic Monkeys being at Number Five, because these things are always subjective and it's best to take them with a pinch of salt. But I will say this - where the fuck is "This Is Hardcore"? "His and Hers" and "Different Class" are both in there, but TIH was the album where they peaked. It was an entire album of pure, refined Pulp, switching effortlessly between spot-on observations of the seedy side of life (the title track and "Help The Aged"), venomous satire ("I'm A Man"), and laments for wasted lives ("Sylvia" and "A Little Soul", the best song they ever wrote IMHO). As John Harris points out in The Last Party, it's one of the few genuinely brilliant albums to come out of Britpop. Whinge over.

Do you know who i am?!

Ever get fed up of being ignored in swanky restaurants? Ever had problems getting into the VIP area? Well try here to see which famous person you look most like.

Unsuprisingly i didn't come up as looking like Travolta, Rusedski or the old goalie in Dream Team. In fact i tried 2 photos and the notable results were
71% Kenneth Branagh (thesp)
66% Jason Biggs (What the f*!$)
60% Matt Le Blanc (smooth & cheeky)
53% Keanu Reeves (dark & moody)
48% Rock Hudson (looking good)

Worringly i was also
66% Penelope Cruz
44% Beyonce

Joe need not bother as he is 100%......

Enough about the whale

This is my kind of animal. Great tie-in with Arctic fever in the accompanying text too, including my favourite tabloid phrase "....who had a hit with..." (translation: "here's an explanation of the punny caption/headline because we don't trust you, the Great British Public, to understand even the simplest reference").

It's oh so quiet......

So I'm gonna share my thoughts on American Idol. The first two episodes of the new series were on ITV2 last weekend, with the usual array of horribly 'wacky' auditionees and their natural balance, the over-earnests crying that their life is over because they didn't get to go to 'HollywoodDawg' (I can't find it on any map of the US but Randy Jackson seems to be looking forward to going back there).

Brilliantly Simon Cowell is even ruder than usual. I don't know if he was playing up to the pantomime dame act and giving the audience what they want, or if he just had the whole Fuller lawsuit preying on his mind at the time and was taking it out on the auditionees, but either way it was fucking brilliant. Especially the two times when he didn't even give any comments but just stared people off the stage.

I can't believe 'Crazy Dave' got a yellow slip though - for anyone who didn't see it, he was an explosion of bad singing, 'zany' dancing and general annoyingness ("Look - I'm not wearing any shoes! Isn't that weird?!!"). In other words, an american Chico. God help us all.


Newble out.

No comment...

Probably best not to comment too much on this story - I'll let it speak for itself.

Something I must get off my chest, although I know how unpopular it will be:

Mogwai. They're really good. I saw them at the ICA on Thursday - they were really good. The only time I've seen them not be really good was in the daylight on the mainstage at Glastonbury. They're really bloody good. Honestly!!

Gruff Rhys's support slot was probably best described as "charmingly shambolic", with the exception of Colonise the Moon which was excellent. He also did Dial:Revenge with Mogwai during their encore, possibly because he recognises that they're really good.

Shame they come across in the press as such prats, but they are, I humbly suggest to you, good. Except on record, where they tend to be disappointing...

Friday Fact

'Feels Like I'm In Love' by KellyMarie, one of the greatest songs of all time, was written by a member of Mungo Jerry for Elvis Presley. How brilliant would that version have sounded?!?!!

Have a good weekend boys. Come on you Gills!

Read the first paragraph

Buyer Beware: Is That "Ergonomic Chair" Really Ergonomic?

When did i become the byword for people who don't understand ergonomics?!!

What's the Amsterdamage etc etc...

"Dave was accepted to RADA following his highly original interpretation of "Phil Mitchell tries out for the next Audio Bullys video""

So... as Steflon so coyly hints, we are "engaged", if such one can be, things being what they are and so on....

I asked Dave if he would, as the BBC would put it, "marry" me on the morning of his 30th in Amsterdam, on Saturday. Happily, he said "Yes". Joe was very helpful in a) being present so I didn't chicken out and b) making himself scarce at the perfect moment, and I owe him a big shout for that.

There are, as yet, no actual plans or owt, but at least we can now feel legitimate in attempting to get the arrangements made.

Sadly, I suspect Medway may not be top of the list, venue-wise.

But thanks to all who have sent congrats so far, and also a belated "Cheers" to everyone at the Napier Road New Year bash - Keef and T put on a splendid show and I had a ball.

Did anyone tape "My Name Is Earl"???

Amsterdam 2006.....

I did the photos, I'll let Rob do the words as he's got a lot more to report than I have..........

Totally pointless, but fun.

2 totally dumbass links to start the new year...

for you wildlife fans

for you Al, Freddie & Dr. Jack fans

Happy New Year

More photos from the party, plus some other Christmas images, are here - I've left out the photo of Keef's mouth which looks like a XXX porno shot.